I think I can... I think I can!

When people ask you how you are, do you ever say anything other than "good!"? I never do.


This is Thomas the Tank Engine, in case you were wondering....
you will understand the symbolism later...

I was sitting at my desk today waiting for my co-worker to arrive, and I was imagining our initial conversation (don't ask me why). Just like every other day, he would undoubtedly put his things down on his desk and ask me (because he is so very nice and considerate), "So, how are you today?" I was contemplating what I would say, as I am feeling other than "good" today. Usually, I would simply go to my standard response, but I have caught myself in some situations thinking, "I just blatantly lied!"

I am wondering if the alternative would be better? To tell someone exactly how you are really feeling. But I think there is something to be said for your mind catching up to your actions. If you tell yourself or someone else that you are "good," your mind wants to be consistent with that behavior or response. That is what we psychologists call reducing "cognitive dissonance." This is why self-confidence is so important for success at anything.

Let's take dance for example. If I, myself, believe that I am a great dancer, I will work to make my actions and behavior (i.e., my dancing) consistent with my thoughts. When we get down on ourselves, it becomes very difficult to perform well. How can we expect our bodies to outperform what we expect of ourselves??? The trick is to make this work for you, not against you. Much easier said than done, but I am working on it!

(Related sidenote: Another co-worker just walked over and said, "Hey Ellen, how are you?" Without even thinking, I said, "Pretty good, how are you?" And I do feel a little better now, so maybe it does work!)

Try this (I know it sounds lame, but just do it...it only takes 5 seconds...):

List (yes...actually write them down) 3 things that you did well today. Some days (ahem...like today...) this is harder than others, but something this simple can be your start (or your re-start, in my case...admittedly, I have been slacking on my mental training a bit). Do this after every class or after every rehearsal or after every day or after every (fill in the blank). Start recognizing and focusing on your successes, and your performance will start to meet your mind's expectations.  

Jason Selk's book 10-Minute Toughness is a great resource to help you develop a concrete/simple plan to make this work for you. I recieved a very touching letter from someone who bought this book based on another blog entry, and it made a huge impact on her. I thought it would be worth mentioning again in case it might reach someone else.