A little bit of "ology"

"We do not always remember our past selves accurately--as we once were. Research suggests that people can falsely recall aspects of their past selves in line with current beliefs and expectations of who they think they once were and who they are now" (Newman & Lindsay, 2009).

In that case...

• I was never mean to my little brothers.
• I never gained the Freshman 15. (In case you were wondering, there will be no pictures associated with this blog post.)
• I always showed my appreciation for my parents, and never said things like, "Thanks for ruining my life!" when I wasn't allowed to go to a party sans parents.
• I never thought that the phrase was "for all intensive purposes."
• I never skipped classes in college to hang out with Patrick.

Two steps forward, one step back...in my cute mini dance studio...

So after my "one step back days," I used to agonize over every mistake for the rest of the day. It is a continuous process, but I am trying to accept those days for what they are and move on. I realized that I was leaving the direction of my steps up to chance when I would simply be "happy about my good days" and "hope a bad day wouldn't creep in anywhere." 

One thing that has helped me is having my own cute mini dance studio in my basement (courtesy of Patrick and our old fake wood flooring). Now, any time I catch myself thinking, "I hope my X is better tomorrow," I can trot down to my basement and work on X. It makes me feel better to actually do something about it, rather than just worrying about it or hoping for it.

Patrick building my cute mine dance studio

More importantly, it doubles as a great stage for StLDT game night!!!

We heart Geoff!

 

Don't mess with T-bone (Trisha) on game night. She is in it to win it!

I don't really have  toothache, I was just acting...

Miranda teaches Zumba, in case you couldn't tell...

Add one to the list...

Along with my titles of wife, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, friend, dancer, and psychologist, I can now add AUNT!!!

Patrick's sister Andrea and her husband Nic welcomed my first niece Hannah Vivian Mutch to the world on November 24, 2010. I think she looks just like her mom, and by default, Patrick. Here, you can be the judge:

Andrea, Nic, and Hannah Banana (I am thinking about calling her that. I haven't totally decided yet. Just testing it out...)

Those are dancer feet if I ever saw them!

I plan to take her shopping all the time and to buy her junk food that her parents will only let her eat on special occasions. After all, it will be a special occasion when she hangs out with Aunt Ellen.

 

I am thankful for the following 16 things:

1. Hair gel and minty lip gloss...obviously.

2. A husband with a "real person job" in finance so I don't have to be a starving artist, only a mildly hungry one.

My monkey arms in full force

3. My ridiculously long arms that make for lots of laughs in my dance classes and training sessions. Paula calls them my monkey arms, and my trainer Tom calls me Jane Goodall. Also, my long fingers that leave room for lots of diamonds--why wear one ring per finger when you can wear five!? It would have been nice, however, for Your generosity to extend to the length of my legs.

 

4. My dog Louise because she is so cute that I can't stand it.

Patrick's wedding band says "I can't stand it!"

5. My husband Patrick because I love him so much that I can't stand it. That happens to be what is inscribed in his wedding band. Don't be alarmed that that I listed Louise before Patrick...it just happened that way...I love them both equally.

6. The fact that Patrick hasn't quite figured out yet that he does more of the cooking, cleaning, etc. than I do. I am hoping to squeeze another year or so out of this. And, in case you were concerned, I was just kidding about loving them both equally. After all, Louise can't cook or clean. Just kidding again. 

7. My mom for many reasons, but she always made sure that I was the first one in my class to get the newest Disney movie on video (yes, that's right, video), and then I would come home to a scavenger hunt to find it!

9. My dad for many reasons, but he drove me halfway across the country one summer so that I could go to a ballet intensive in Connecticut. And, luckily, he still loved me enough to drive all the way back 6 weeks later to pick me up.

10, 11, and 12. My brothers and sister. Lindsey didn't let "stress" get anywhere near me during my wedding. Tyler can always whip out a good Seinfeld line. Thomas still loves me even though I used to pick on him for not pronouncing his R's. He can now.

Lindsey and me

Tyler and me

Thomas and me

13 and 14. My mentors Paula David and Cecil Slaughter. They both don't let me settle for anything less than better than I am. Because of them, I feel like every night is Christmas Eve. I get to wake up and do what I love every morning. 

Cecil (this is not Paula, in case you were confused) and me

Paula "making me better"

15. On a somewhat related note...Advil. And by Advil, I mean generic ibuprofen. Patrick says that we will know when we have really made it when we spring for real Advil...

16. God having designed every event in my life so far so that I could end up exactly where I am right now, fake Advil and all... 

When your toe hurts, it's usually not your toe that's hurt...

This is so amazing to me. As a dancer I have a slightly vested interest in the human body, and I am learning so much from my trainer and chiropractor and google. (My husband doesn't let me google my symptoms anymore. As I've said before, my mind has a tendency to take over my matter. I still sneak it every once in a while, though. I've also stopped watching "House" and "Grey's Anatomy" after I was convinced that a bruise on my leg was bone cancer. It wasn't. It was a bruise. But, seriously, what are the chances that a "Grey's Anatomy" character would happen to be a dancer and happen to have bone cancer in his leg at the exact time that I happened to have a bruise on my leg and one of the symptoms of bone cancer (according to Dr. Google) just happens to be bruising!?!? .............Hence, becoming banned from Dr. Google and all medical-related shows.) Anyway, back to the topic of interest... 

My trainer Tom Jones at The Boxing Gym does a great job at kicking my a$&, and my chiropractor Dr. Rachel Loeb does a great job of putting it back together. I am so grateful to have Tom and Rachel's help. They are both so knowledgeable, so invested, and so great at what they do. I always feel so awful (in a good way) when I finish a session with Tom and so wonderful when I finish a session with Rachel. It is so amazing to me how a weakness in a certain area can cause a chain of events that manifests in a totally different area. When my knee was hurting, Tom had me doing more glute exercises, and when my toe was hurting, Rachel had me doing calf exercises. Today, when Rachel dug out my psoas muscle in my abdomen, my hip totally relaxed. It's amazing!

Really, I think all of these aches and pains were designed by God specifically for dancers to signal us that we are slacking on a certain area of our technique. My knee pain was great for me because it signaled me to focus on holding my turnout from the back, not my quads. My toe pain was great because it signaled me to focus on not rolling in on my feet. That was so smart of God! He is like my own personal ballet instructor. So much better than Dr. Google!

On an unrelated note, I am trying to cope with the fact that StLDT doesn't have classes Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday because of Thanksgiving. This will be the true test of my recovery (see previous post). I am making baby steps, however. I did go to T.J. Maxx on Saturday, but I didn't buy one thing! Thankfully, Black Friday sales will be there for me this weekend. Patrick, I think it is really important for my progress that I fully take advantage of them. As a loving husband, I'm sure you will understand and support me every step of the way. Get excited for the savings!

Twiddling my thumbs...

This is what I do on Saturdays. And blog, of course. All week I can't wait for Saturday to get here so I can sleep in; when it comes, I don't know what to do with myself. Brace yourself...I can't even work up the motivation to get dressed and go to T.J. Maxx!

My mind is reeling because I can't wait to get back into the dance studio. Monday feels so far away. Two whole days without ballet class??? I really think I am developing a problem. A good problem, of course, but, seriously, get a grip, Ellen!

OK, I've admitted that I have a problem, so now maybe I can pull myself together. Hopefully, my next post will be devoted to all the great bargains I find today. It's going to be a tough road to recovery. Come on, Ellen, you can do it! After all, I do need some more flats...

The new normal

I went to an "ologist" meeting today, and it was brought up that once someone's life takes either a positive or negative turn, he or she will eventually "reset" their normal so that the positive no longer seems so positive and the negative no longer seems so negative. This is great for the negative side of things, but this is discouraging for the positive side of things. The worst part is that we move 3 times faster to the "new normal" when a positive change occurs than when a negative change occurs! That sucks!

I still haven't hit my "new normal" in terms of my life with StLDT. I am still just as excited and happy as I was when I received the phone call from Paula David and Cecil Slaughter saying that I got in the company. I have always been a happy person, but I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Aside from the excitement of being a part of such an amazing new venture, the fact that I have worked so hard and devoted everything I have to something is the most gratifying. In my interview for the November "In Step" newsletter, I said that I have so much fun with the process that the product seems like a bonus. The process is not always easy (actually it's never easy--and if it is, it means that you'd better start moving toward the next level), but it is so much fun and so rewarding. Different or bigger and better products will come and go and their novelty will soon wear off, but the process will always be there for you. I think this is the key to maintaining the positive of positive things...Love the process.

Entering the world of flats...

I am discovering that the more I care about how I look inside the studio, the less I care about how I look outside the studio.

I officially purchased my first pair of flats this weekend. This is a big moment for me because I have always sacrificed comfort for cuteness. 

My uncomfortable-but-worth-it wedding shoes



When I was shopping for wedding shoes, every salesperson said to me, "Now, you will want to make sure they are comfortable." I would simply nod in agreement, and then reach for the 4-inch heels. Usually, if my feet are numb by the end of an evening, I consider it a success.

My winter coats always function much better at looking cute than at keeping me warm. My mother-in-law likes to remind me of this (side note--Yes, I am aware that it is cold outside. Yes, I am aware that I might be a little chilly. As long as we are not planning on climbing Mt. Everest, I think I can make it from the front door to the car...). Anyway...sorry about that... 

These days, I am trying to resist the urge to carry around a sign with me that reads, "I PROMISE I AM USUALLY MUCH CUTER THAN THIS!" Don't  worry, I won't really do this. I am just trying to come to terms with my new flats. Don't get me wrong, they are still metallic and snake-skin, but I am missing a certain sense of "pain is beauty."

This new found comfort might take a little getting used to, but my new flats are giving me a blister, so all is right with the world. All bets are off when it comes to my winter coat, though.

I still have a scar under my chin from a trip to K-Mart in a pair of new patent leather shoes when I was about 6 years old. I got a little too excited about my pretty new shoes. A little dancing in the aisles, trip to the ER, and a few stitches later, I have a permanent reminder of the sacrifices I have made for cuteness.

The wise Paula David, artistic director of StLDT, once said to me, "You will find yourself living your whole life to support your art." Well folks, it's happened. I've made the ultimate sacrifice. I am saving all of the pain in my feet for dancing.

I feel like I should end by saying, please don't judge me from this post...