Notice all the exclamation points. Having a baby and adding Dr. to your name deserve exclamation points. Thank you Elaine Benes for pointing that out.
So my Tuesday morning started with a little presentation.
With my amazing mentor, Donna
Then I hopped over to a celebratory lunch with my favorite husband, Patrick.
And a much needed glass of wine...
Then I hopped on a plane to Charlotte and surprised my sister with a visit.
It wasn't until I got there that I really truly realized that a new little person would be there, too. I got to meet my cute, sweet, little nephew Jacky Tommy Tom for the first time (a.k.a. Jack Thomas Clickner). He is the cutest and the sweetest.
The launch party for The Big Muddy Dance Company (the performing entity of St. Louis Dance Theatre) was a blast and a huge success! It was so nice to see so many people come out to support us. See Patrick (who is now a board member) and I talking to the John and Drew Show about the company. Hurry and click on it so that freeze-frame of my face goes away!!!
How can you help? I am so glad you asked! DONATE! :) Check out the Support page of the new website for ways that you can support the company and help us launch our premiere season. Every little bit helps!
She is 38 weeks pregnant in this picture! WHAT?!?! She is seriously the cutest pregnant person I have ever seen in my entire life. I am going to be SO PISSED if she used up all of our "good pregnancy" genes.
On an unrelated note. I have had the stomach flu (not morning sickness... I know what you all are thinking...) for the past few days. If you see me out in public, don't be alarmed. I am working on putting some meat back on my bones and color back in my skin immediately.
More updates soon...lots of exciting things to come...
Patrick leaves for work about an hour before I wake up, so he always resets the alarm clock for me to the time of my specification. Today I received the following email from him, recounting our conversation when he left this morning.
Subject: Our Convo This Morning
Patrick: What time do you need to wake up? Ellen: 8:00, and stretch your arms out. Patrick: ?? So... 8:00? Ellen: Yeah. And make sure you stretch your arms. Patrick: What does that mean? Ellen: You know, the variability right here (Ellen points to her shoulder…and simultaneously realizes she is making no sense)…Never mind...
I have been giggling about that all morning.
Love you, Patrick
Apparently, the statistics of arm-stretching is what a dancologist dreams about while writing her dissertation...
1. Countdown to becoming an aunt x2 is getting closer and closer! This is my beautiful sister Lindsey at 7-ish months pregnant! Seeing how cute and pretty she is at this point is the only reason I still have that whole pregnancy thing on the table. Just kidding. Kind of. We apparently have good genes, so I'm pretty sure Lindsey wouldn't mind carrying my children for me. We did share a room for most of our childhood, so it's only natural to assume that our children should share a uterus, too. I'm only thinking of them...
2. Patrick and I are canceling cable tomorrow (pause for gasp). Both of us are entering crunch-time (Ellen-finishing dissertation; Patrick-studying for the CFA exam). We really shouldn't be watching TV, anyway. Let's be honest. If we have cable, we will watch TV all the time, no matter how busy we are. How can I be expected to focus on hemispheric processing and false memory susceptibility when The Real Housewives of Orange County needs my attention!?! It is best that we cancel cable, and I just watch it on my computer focus on psychology and memory performance, instead.
3. On a more serious note, this is how well my manicure has held up for 2 weeks and counting (again, pause for gasp)!!! It is the new gel manicure, and there are no chips, and it is still shiny! Knowing how long it was going to last, I wanted to be sure to pick a very neutral color. Naturally, I decided to go with bright red...
I will keep you updated on the progress of my manicure. Oh, and the progress of my nephew-to-be, my Ph.D, and Patrick's CFA exam.
Just kidding. Nephew-to-be, then manicure, Ph.D. and Patrick's CFA exam...
I am very cheap green. Here are a few ways that my husband and I have avoided spending money on un-fun things gone green:
1. I reused all of our wedding gift bags for my family's Christmas presents. Love is ALWAYS a good theme, no matter what the season...so what if there are pictures of brides, grooms, and diamond rings on the bags to symbolize that?
2. Patrick and I reuse our old water bottles to bring wine with us in my purse to the movies. Why throw away a perfectly good water bottle just to use another cup at the theater?!? If we are bringing the water bottle anyway, we might as well put wine in it...
3. I like to be sure that I squeeze every ounce of potential out of my socks. It is important not to be wasteful...
4. We've kept the hideously ugly bushes in the front of our house. It is important to keep plant life around because...you know...for lots of reasons...
5. Patrick likes to give Louise haircuts himself. We are pretty sure that those grooming places use excessive amounts of water while bathing the animals, so we prefer to use as little water as possible at home.
Why waste resources and spend money on gift bags, landscaping, wine, socks, and grooming when you can spend it on diamonds and jewelry help save the environment!?!
On my actual birthday, I woke up after Patrick had already left for work, and plopped down in front of the computer with my coffee (per my usual routine). This is what I saw...
Then, I had a long day of work at SLU, during which my co-workers brought me some cute mini cupcakes, and a cute mini card! Next, I rushed over to the dance studio to teach, and my wonderful sweet girls brought me funfetti cupcakes, balloons, and cards!
After a long great day, I arrived home to find Patrick and Louise hiding behind the counter to surprise me with my un-birthday cake. We are not really cake-people, so we prefer un-birthday cakes. This year's was a YoMyGoodness yogurt un-cake with trick candles.
Sidenote, trick candles are the scariest things I have ever encountered. Every time I blew them out, a mini explosion would ensue to light them again. Not fun. Only scary.
The next evening, Patrick and I went out to Ellen's Birthday Dinner #1 to debut my new highlights (step 1 of getting out of my ugly phase).
I decided to get a cute, fun drink instead of my usual Chardonnay, in honor of being slightly less ugly.
The next day consisted of Dance Extravaganza. After a great morning ballet class and a productive day at work, Patrick and I sat front row of the Fox Theatre watching as Paula David taught the warm-up ballet class to Alvin Ailey. Kind of a big deal... Next, we met Erin and promptly moved the the last row (yes, literally the last row) of the theater to watch them perform. In case you don't believe me, here is a photo of us in our seats. There is nothing behind us but a marble wall...
The next day, Patrick and I shopped til we dropped and went to Ellen's Birthday Dinner #2 to debut my new spray tan (step 2 of getting out of my ugly phase).
I decided to go with an even more fun drink in honor of being even slightly less ugly. I can't even fathom the drink I will order after my manicure!?!?!
Every year around this time, I go through what I like to call "my ugly phase." Let me explain... Things are always busy in the dance department this time of year. This means that my feet are usually in pretty bad shape. Also, why spend the time/money getting my hair done when it will just be sprayed and gel-ed and bun-ed 90% of the time anyway? Dancers typically don't get a lot of time to see the light of day this time of year, so my skin tends to lean more toward the "gray" variety than the "sun-kissed olive" variety. Add all of these factors together and you get... "my ugly phase." It's a viscous cycle, really. It is difficult to be motivated to bring my pre-pedicured, pre-highlighted, pre-spray-tanned self outside to enjoy the spring air, only contributing to the problem.
So, for my birthday this year, which happens to be on Wednesday ("March Ninch"--as I used to say when I was younger), I put the request in to Patrick to be pulled out of "my ugly phase." Plus, I told him that I didn't want anything for my birthday after the Christmas present he surprised me with, so this is a way of getting something without really getting something. He will be giving me the gift of non-ugliness this year, and you can't put a price on that. Well... you can... but don't tell Patrick that...
Hopefully, after my birthday, Patrick and I will not have to confine ourselves to the back booth at El Maguey with the favorable lighting...
Back booth with good lighting... Not back booth with good lighting...*
Disclaimer: I don't really think I am ugly, and just don't feel that I am fully living up to my potential right now. Plus, I just wanted an excuse to post this picture from Seinfeld and to get a manicure/pedicure, highlights, and spray tan...
*I hate to admit this, but this was not even a set up....this actually happened...
I get so confused when people start by asking me about how school is going, and then, "Oh, yeah, by the way, are you still dancing?"
"Umm, yes???" Sometimes I want to respond with, "Do you know me at all!?!?!"Instead, I quietly think to myself, "SERENITY NOW!" and I reply, "Yes! A lot, actually!"
If you get it, you get it. But for those that don't, how do I begin to explain? To most of the people in my life, my (almost) PhD sounds so much more impressive than the fact that I am a dancer. The truth is, dancers work so hard for something that is not tangible. We don't walk away with a fancy degree. We don't walk away with tons of money. We don't walk away with a big promotion. We walk away with something that is impossible to explain to anyone who doesn't already get it. We will spend an entire year working on a product that comes and goes in about 2 hours on a stage. If you missed the performance, you missed it, and it is gone. You can hang a Ph.D. on your wall for a lifetime.
It took me 10 weeks to write my prelims...
It took me 20 years to get my legs to look like that...
Dancing has been infinitely more challenging than getting my Ph.D. Don't get me wrong, I love both aspects of my life, and they are both important to me, but working toward being a dancer makes working toward my doctorate seem so much easier. This is not to say that graduate school isn't challenging, or that being a dancer is harder than being a psychologist, but for me, my dancing puts my work toward my doctorate in perspective. Maybe I am on to something here. If you ever want to accomplish something challenging, just take on something that is even more challenging for you to put it in perspective. Maybe for you, psychology would be more challenging than dancing, or parenting would be more challenging than getting ahead at work, and the possibilities go on and on. Don't get me wrong, I will still be hanging my PhD on my wall, but they don't make a piece of paper for every type of accomplishment in life.
Just in case you are currently worrying about all those times you've asked me, "Are you still dancing?" after you've asked me how school is going...don't. I appreciate your support, whether you get it or not. On the other hand, if you don't get my Seinfeld references, then I'm sorry, but we can't be friends...
I have always ordered my food with no onions just because I felt like that was what you were supposed to do. Whenever I would order a sandwich, I would promptly remove the onions between the lettuce and tomato and put them to the side of my plate. Today, a little piece of onion accidentally made its way into my salad and ... it was amazing! I can't believe I almost missed out on this opportunity. I am so excited about living the rest of my life with onions! Sorry, Patrick...
This was me eating a sandwich pre-onion discovery. I look pretty happy, right? Just imagine how happy I would look if I had already discovered them!
Ellen eating a sandwich with no onions. Blissfully unaware of how good life could REALLY be...
Just in case you were wondering...this post really is about onions. It would appear that there would have to be some sort of deeper meaning behind this, but I really just had an exciting experience with onions today, so I wanted to share.
On the way to work today I saw a sign that read, "Please do not text and drive." I thought to myself, "Oh! That reminds me! I need to text Erin about our plans this weekend!"
That is probably not the reaction they were going for... This is kind of like saying, "Please do not eat pizza for dinner tonight." Well, I wasn't planning on it, but now I can't stop thinking about pizza!
Don't worry. I waited until I got to a stoplight the parking garage to text my friend Erin. I just hope other people don't have the same initial reaction I did.
I would like to formally suggest that they change the sign to read,"Please text while walking from the parking lot to your building."
Did you think about the pink elephant wearing running shoes? Exactly.
*"Pink elephant wearing running shoes" courtesy of Dr. Jason Selk
"There is nothing you can do about it, so there is no sense in worrying about it."
Not only am I still going to worry about it, but that is exactly WHY I am worried about it. If there were something I could do about "it," I would just do it, and then not have to worry about "it" in the first place. I've never understood why people think that line will make me feel better.
Like mother, like daughter...
I have been a worrier as long as I can remember. It doesn't take much to set off that all-too-familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. Right now, for example, I have a very suspicious looking hangnail (just kidding-but I actually wouldn't put that too far past me). Unfortunately, Louise has adopted my worrying. Her first anxiety attack consisted of her uncontrollably licking the floor so much that she threw up. Mine manifests itself slightly differently. When Louise has one of her "moments," Patrick likes to pet her and say, "Louise, you have anxiety. Anxiety does not have you." It seems to help her a bit. It reminds her that she is in control.
Here is something that I learned from my friend, Dr. Jason Selk. Answer the following question:
What is ONE thing I can do that COULD make this better?
Yes, it is that simple. The moment you stop thinking about the problem and start focusing on a possible solution, you've stopped yourself from spiraling lower and lower and lower. That first solution may not work, but at least you've given yourself something to focus on other than the problem. If that solution doesn't work, ask yourself the question again and again and again. Keep doing this until it is better.
If that doesn't work, just start licking the floor...
I am feeling a little blah these days, and I can only be funny when I am happy. Check back later...
Well....let me give it a shot...
I've been thinking recently about how certain behaviors have a funny way of creeping in and becoming a part of a person's idea of self. This works in obvious ways, such as if a person frequently performs well in math class, he might go on to consider himself a "math person." If a person often gets compliments her clothes, she might think of herself fashionable. I was noticing recently that certain aspects of "Ellen" have started to creep in without my awareness.
For example, I have gotten many shocked reactions from people when I show them my mountainous heaps of clean, unfolded laundry in my laundry room. I feel I am starting to subconsciously think to myself, "I shouldn't fold that load of laundry. Ellen doesn't fold laundry. That would be so hypocritical of me!"
Step 1/Step 6
Patrick finally broke down and brought all the clean laundry upstairs so that we can have a constant reminder of how much laundry we need to fold. This is a Step 1 of getting it folded. Step 2 will be to start thinking about folding it. Step 3 will be to actually think about folding it. Step 4 will be to get a phone call saying that someone is planning on dropping by our house. Step 5 will be to panic-stricken-ly (yes, I just made up that word) carry it all back to the laundry room so that it is out of sight for our visitors. Step 6, see Step 1.
Step 5 is crucial because it is very important for my actions (or lack thereof) to coincide with my ideas of self. Otherwise, I would be all out of whack. And I didn't just make that up. That is a real psychological phenomenon...
If you love me, dance, and/or St. Louis (any one of the 3 will do), find out how you can help or be involved with St. Louis Dance Theatre! More info on our website www.stldancetheatre.org.
We have a blizzard coming, and I am suddenly aware of how unprepared I am to be an adult. What do I do??? My thoughts immediately went back to 3rd grade, and I wish I had paid better attention. Do I get under my desk?? No, that's for an earthquake... Do I run to the cafeteria and crouch against the wall with my arms over my head?? No, that's for a tornado... Are you supposed to do anything for a blizzard? I've never done anything before, but is that because my parents just secretly did it for me? They should write these things down in a manual. It was always my parents' job to take care of me, so how am I supposed to take over the job without a manual? I've never actually had a real-person job, but isn't reading the manual the first thing you do when you start?
Yesterday, Patrick very intently said to me, "Ellen! We need to seriously prepare ourselves for a power outage..." I stood listening and waiting for him to give me directions on how to do this, while he stood waiting for me to give him directions on how to do this. Neither of us knew, so naturally we just decided to deal with it later, grabbed our beer and wine out of the fridge, and settled down to watch a movie. Well...it's later and the blizzard is officially on it's way. At somewhat of a loss for what to do next, I cooked a box of pasta and a frozen pizza and stored them in the refrigerator. That should get us by for a while... Oh! I just realized that I cooked!!! That is a step in the right direction of becoming an adult! Maybe I don't need a manual... Although, if you don't hear from me in the next few days, send help.
1. I started flossing. I never used to floss, and I never got cavities. Right now, you are either thinking, "Eww!" or, "Me neither, thank goodness someone finally came out and said it!" I am hoping for the latter. Sorry Alicia and Steve (my aunt/hygienist and uncle/dentist), I have been fooling you for years. I know, I know...why start now if I have had so much success in the past!? I figure that my days are numbered. I must say, though, there is nothing fun about flossing. It is hard to be motivated by negative reinforcement (preventing something aversive; e.g., cavities). Positive reinforcement (adding something positive; e.g., diamonds) is much more effective. Maybe I should try to work something out with Patrick...
2. We have a "grown-up person" couch! Patrick's college futon has officially been retired to the office. Here are some pictures of the Reed household circa 2011. Big improvement from the Reed household circa 2010...
Family room
Family room corner. Paintings I made to match the pillows in the office (see below).
Kitchen dining area
Orange bathroom
Bedroom with Louise. Every room has bits of black, white, and brown. Louise counts as the black and white for the bedroom. We try to encourage her to spend as much time in here as possible for decorative purposes.
Bedroom
Office with futon
Futon with pillows that match paintings
Office with Patrick
I don't want to talk about the guest room and the basement right now. They are currently under piles of laundry. 2011 is the year for flossing. 2012 can be the year for laundry...
